


The Question

by Priestlyislove



Category: Milo Murphy's Law
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Arguing, Gen, Guilt, Hero Complex, Hypocrisy, Meta, One Shot, Self-Esteem Issues, cavs just got a lot of issues, headcanons, island talk, referenced cavendeath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 07:38:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18464455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Priestlyislove/pseuds/Priestlyislove
Summary: Cavendish addresses his guilt





	The Question

“I know what you want to ask me,” Cavendish broke the silence that Dakota had found comfortable, wringing his hands incessantly from across the table.

Dakota swallowed the bite of chipotle occupying his mouth and his mind. “I don’t want to ask you nothin’.”

“Well, not now, maybe, but you-in general, or-in the back of your mind, yes, in the back of your mind, I know exactly what you want to ask me.” Cavendish had barely touched his food. The only thing Dakota wanted to ask him was if he could have it. Dakota perked up a little, in case that was the question Cavendish thought he had. “You want to know if I would do the same for you.”

Dakota tried to decipher if that meant giving him his burrito. It did not seem to mean that. Dakota licked his fingers, unable to respond to this question that had supposedly been weighing on him.

Cavendish continued without looking at Dakota, “the island. Ever since you knew I knew, it’s been consuming you, making you wonder if I’m a good partner because I didn’t immediately respond. That’s-you think the first words out of my mouth should’ve been that I would do the same, but-I just don’t think that’s fair. There was a lot going on, we had to save the world, I didn’t have time to say that. But maybe you know that. Maybe you’re just upset that it’s taken days for me to finally address it.”

“I’m not upset,” Dakota threw in. He usually just let Cavendish ramble so he could get it out of his system, but he knew that the way Cavendish understood emotions was different than the way he did, so it was important to be clear about his feelings.

“It’s a lot of pressure,” Cavendish had switched to drumming his fingers on the table, sticking his other hand in and around his mouth, pulling at his lip and pinching his skin. He didn’t seem to hear Dakota. If he did, he didn’t acknowledge him. “You decided I was worth saving and you don’t know if I can live up to that. You don’t know if I can save the world, you don’t-you don’t even know if I would save you. And it’s just-it’s a lot of pressure, you know.”

Dakota rubbed his hands clean on his pant legs as he tried to keep up. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, man,” he admitted, hoping that would be enough to get Cavendish to slow down.

It wasn’t. “Is it awful to say my answer is I don’t know? Am I a bad person because of that? I do good things, I try my hardest to be good-do I deserve to be called bad just because of that? It’s like a mind game, like the trolley problem. It’s not something I could give a definitive answer on unless I was in that situation, and it’s not my fault I’ve never been in it. Maybe I should push you into traffic to see what I would do,” Cavendish laughed-at least, Dakota thought it was a laugh, but he couldn’t quite tell-making the kind of sound that a rusty gate being pushed by the wind would make.

“Listen, dude,” Dakota started, trying to get Cavendish to look at him by twisting and bending to catch his gaze. “I don’t want you to be like, stressed about the island. The other me’s are fine, and you’re fine, so it’s fine, right? I don’t...I didn’t do it because I expected something from you.”

Cavendish stood up so quickly Dakota flinched. “You can’t say that,” Cavendish pointed a trembling, accusatory finger at him, “you can’t sit there and play these little games with me. Don’t act like you’re so good-because you’re not, Dakota, you’re not good. I know you. Pretending you’re some kind of martyr-this is shameful. I’m ashamed of you. You’re trying to confuse me-“

“I’m not-“

“You’re trying to make it seem like I’m the bad guy. It’s not my fault that you saved me.” Cavendish went to the door, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t owe you for that.”

Dakota winced as he slammed the door behind him.


End file.
